Mua!

Now, that I have 3 posts under my belt I feel like the theme of this blog is yet to be determined. So far it is me just talking about whatever comes to mind. I told a coworker about how sometimes people tell me about stuff that I did in the past and I have no recollection of it or the recollection is pretty different than what they were saying. I watch PBS so I have seen those specials on the brain and how when you remember something you are really only remembering the last time you remembered it. Well that sucks for me because I have a hard time remembering anything. I think partly this is why I want this blog to work, so I can remember how stupid I was/am.

I used to keep a journal my freshman year of high school and I would write at least weekly. I am not sure what I would write about because it's not like I had a ton of boyfriends or even went out much. I imagine it was mostly music I would write about, who knows at this point because I threw the journal away. I think I had only written in it for about a year and then I forgot about it. When I was a senior in high school I found it again and as I read it I became so embarrassed of the things that I wrote in there that I had an immediate urge to get rid of the evidence of my weirdness. I mean even though I wasn't very interesting back then if a guy kissed me or if we made out, I would write in detail what happened. I am rolling my eyes as I type this because I ... well honestly I don't even know what to say next because you can imagine what a hormonal 14-15 year old sounds like. Or maybe you can't I don't know. I just remember I was embarrassed to read about my younger self. I had detailed my conquests with such detail it makes me cringe and I get embarrassed again.  I can't remember exactly what I wrote but I imagine it sounds as stupid as my journal from middle school which unfortunately I didn't toss. That journal only has a few pages to read, but my 13 year old self had a lot of opinions and a lot of crushes. Also when I was thirteen I had my first kiss, which I remember in my mind but then I read about it and I shake my head. I would describe eye contact and hand sweat and just weird shit. Honestly my first kiss I'd rather forget, not that it was terrible its just it was awkward and weird and Blah!

Okay, I want to stop now. :)